


I've Found You

by orphan_account



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Adorable Connor, Alternate Universe, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Connor Deserves Happiness, Evan is Amazing, Evan is a Supportive Boyfriend, Fluff and Angst, Headcanon Larry, Homophobia, Hurt/Comfort, Larry is a dick, M/M, Sad, True Love, soft connor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-11
Updated: 2017-07-11
Packaged: 2018-11-30 15:30:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,353
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11466411
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: "When two broken people fall in love, they become one anothers band aid."-





	I've Found You

**Author's Note:**

> FOR THE SAKE OF THE STORY - larry is homophobic, it;s kind of a headcanon larry

When two broken people fall in love, they become one anothers band aid. They don't heal the wounds, because being sick doesn't mend from falling in love; but, they help protect each other from more injury. 

Evan being sad means tearing up and hugging Connor until he feels better, but that's been happening less and less. Connor was a small bit different.

In fact, when Connor is being 'sad', he doesn't cry. He just sits there, and he becomes incredibly associative and numb, like he doesn't actually exist, like he's watching himself in a movie.

Sometimes Connor gets overwhelmed by his dad and mother and sister, and he comes to Evan's house. It started one night when he had a big fight with Larry and came to Evan's house at  am asking if he could stay the night. Evan said yes.

It starting getting to the point were he had his own toothbrush and Heidi always left enough money for both of them on the table.

Heidi found out they were dating around two months into the relationship, when they still were hesitant about doing more than kissing and when they still blushed when holding hands.

She was very happy about it, happy to see her son with someone who treated him well and made him smile.

Their first date was awkward beyond belief. Evan picked Connor up for a 'project' and his hands were nervously tapping on the steering wheel and the second Connor came out of his house with a black shirt and black jeans- and even slightly heeled boots- Evan knew he really really liked this boy.

Connor was the only person who made fun of Evan's awkwardness, but made it better.

Because of this boy, Evan was so good at calming down and not being anxious. Maybe it had to do with the time they snuck into a pride parade and ended up kissing in front of a lot of people (they got cheers).

Or maybe it was the time when they went roller skating and held hands, neither of them really knew how to skate, so Evan held onto the wall, and Connor held on to Evan. They laughed and Blushed and got some weird stares when Evan kissed him, but they could care less.

But Evan knows it's a combination of everything they've done together. From the really private, to the terribly public. They truly love each other.

It took six months to say they were _in_ love with each other. Evan had admitted it first, with a blush on his face and a grin on his boyfriends. He truly loved everything about Connor, from his flaws to his perfections.

All they wanted to do, is make each other happy.

But Connor wasn't always happy. He's mostly recovered from self harm, but sometimes he can't help being upset and he relapses. Evan hates the red scars that littered Connor's pale skin, but Connor hates them too.

Evan remembers when he saw them for the first time. Connor was sleeping over and changing, and he put on a pair of Evan's slightly too-short plaid pants, but Evan was dumbstruck by the fresh red cuts that took place on Connor's thighs.

He didn't have fresh ones on his arms, you had to truly look to see the pale scars on his wrists, but on his thighs and his hips they were red and ugly and Evan cried. He cried because someone he liked didn't like them self _so much_ they hurt them self.

Connor swallowed hard and stammered to explain, but Evan just shook his head and said he didn't need to explain; he just had to _try_ to not do it any more. And he did. But he still messed up sometimes.

One night, it was completely awful.

The two were sitting knee to knee studying for their mutual classes, when Connor's phone buzzed. He mumbled 'dads calling' before answering.

Evan could hear the yelling from where he was sitting. Connor's face looked shocked and hurt, but he winced and solidified it, looking numb and almost dead. He hangs up and clenches it with rage, his knuckles turn white. He throws it to the floor causing Evan to gasp, and he was about to ask what happened when the other leaves the room.

When Evan follows Connor, the boy was sitting in the bathroom, eyes focused on the white wall in front of him and his black nails scraping his wrists raw.

Evan feels like he's about to throw up.

"C-Connor-" Evan starts, but Connor interrupts.

"He found out I'm gay." His voice was monotone and he sounded almost like a robot, but his face was unbelievably full of pain. "He said I'm no son of his. That I might as well not come home." He chuckles in a mocking, sardonic way. 

He continues scratching, bright red streaks contrasting with the pale skin of his overturned arm.

Evan shakes his head and frowns. "Connor I'm.. I'm so sorry," He says, fiddling with his thumbs. Connor leans his head against the bathtub.

"I wanna fucking die," He says. And Connor says that often as fatalistic humor, but the words have such a destabilizing sense of truth, so much in fact, that Evan winces.

"Stop don't say that," Evan says, voice slightly desperate to find some reason to believe that what he says isn't true. He kneels next to his boyfriend and attempts to take the hand Connor was using to hurt himself from his arm.

"Back off Hansen," The boy threatened, the venom in his voice making Evan frown. Throughout their relationship, Connor had been doing great at not raising his voice or being rude to Evan, because he knew it would hurt him. 

Evan couldn't get himself to take the way the boy said that to heart, because he saw Connor's hands shaking and tears were beginning to prickle in his eyes.

"Everyone would benefit if I was dead," He spat out the words like an insult, and Evan feels like he's been stabbed in his chest. It's aching and he's desperately wanting them both to be okay. Evan tried to grab Connor's hand again, but the latter boy scoots away.

"Connor come here-" He tries, but Connor shoves his hand away.

"Leave me alone! Why can't you leave me the fuck alone, You're the only reason I'm still fucking alive why do you have to care about me?" Connor says, and his hands fly up to his hair to grip the locks and pull his own head down to his knees.

Evan tries not to feel the tightness in his chest. He shakes his head and just wraps his arms around Connor. It's like a hug, but it's not at the same time. It's like he's holding on to him, like Connor's about to be torn away and he's trying to bring him back.

The taller tries pushing Evan away, pressing on his chest and arms.

"Go away, go away, go the _fuck_ away Evan!" He sobs out, but the other refuses to let go. Eventually Connor goes limp in Evan's arms, and he's just shaking, sobbing and gasping for breath.

Normally when Connor cries he just lets out a few tears and sometimes breaks stuff; but now, Evan could feel the boys tears soaking through his shirt, and if his mom was home she would have awoke from his shaking cries.

Connor curls into Evan, gripping his shirt and holding on to him like a lifeline. Evan rubs circles into his boyfriends back, trying not to cry at how broken his sobs were. How broken _he_ was.

Evan makes small shushing sounds, slowly rocking Connor in his arms and listening to the true pain in his voice.

"He hates me because I love someone," Connor wept, and Evan nodded.

"He might come around someday but for now I'm here, and my moms here, and you're so important Con," He consoled, and Connor hugged him, hugged him like he was the only thing he had left.

And he was.

Connor had never hugged Evan like this. He gripped onto him, and Evan just held on. It was like a promise, that they wouldn't leave each other.

"I love you so fucking much," Connor said, his voice breaking half way through. "Fuck I'm so sorry for snapping at you," He apologized, resting his cheek on Evan's shoulder.

"It's okay, you were hurting," He assured, using his thumb to massage Connor's back slowly. "I love you okay? And we'll get through this, M-My mom would be willing to let you spend a little longer here if you wanna give your dad some time to think?" He felt Connor nod and sniff.

"I fucking hate having breakdowns," He chuckles, pulling his head away and realizes he's half in Evan's lap and bites his lip. "I still can't fucking believe you think I deserve you," Connor shakes his head in disbelief.

"You do deserve me because you make me so much better, If anything I don't deserve **you** ," Evan kisses Connor's forehead and his boyfriend smiles one of those beautiful grins that made him fall for Connor in the first place.

Connor wipes his eyes once more and climbs off Evan, standing and helping the other boy up. Evan kisses him and the two smile.

They walk to Evan's room hand and hand. Evan sets up the bed while Connor uses disinfecting wipes to clean the scratches on his arms. He didn't break the skin, but he knows Evan would make him anyway.

Evan climbs into bed first and Connor does after. Connor clings to him like he was earlier, but this time, he's not sad. He's appreciative.

"Goodnight Connor," Evan hums, running his hands through the others hair slowly and Connor mumbles out a small 'night' before he's lulled to sleep by Evan's steady heartbeat and his hands through his hair.

Evan eventually falls asleep as well knowing that Connor is safe and in his arms.

* * *

 

Connor had been staying at Evan's house for four days now. His phone was destroyed from throwing it on the floor (it was already pretty shattered from other bursts of anger) so if Connor got any calls from his parents or sister, he didn't receive them.

"Connor! Stop eating the batter that has raw eggs in it," Evan laughs, lightly smacking Connor's hand away from the brownie batter on the counter.

"It's worth the Salmonella! It's delicious!" The other responds, leaning on the counter and smiling. The two went on an eleven pm shopping adventure to get the ingredients for brownies, and now they were making some.

Well, Evan was making them and Connor was trying to get his attention and attempting to eat the batter. Suddenly a knock on the door interrupts their lovers quarrel.

"Who's knocking at fucking midnight?" Connor mumbles and Evan shrugs with a confused expression.

They both walk to the door and Connor opens it, both of the boys shocked to see Zoe standing there.

"I knew you'd be here," She says, voice softer than she's ever made it when addressing her brother. Connor doesn't speak, his face a mixture of annoyed and confused. Evan speaks up.

"So Zoe.. Wanna come in?" She nods in response, brushing off her red flannel shirt.

The three all go to the living room, Connor and Evan sit on the couch and Zoe stands.

"Mom is pissed at Dad," She starts, and Evan takes Connor's hand, locking their fingers and rubbing his hand.

"So am I," Connor chuckles coldly and his grip on Evan's hand tightens. Zoe looks at their laced fingers.

"Me and Mom don't care that you two are dating. Dad freaked out though, and they've been fighting none stop." She continues while examining her thumb nail. "You should really respond to moms calls,"

"Can't," Connor snorts. "I broke my phone," Evan shuffles awkwardly, like he's not supposed to be witnessing the conversation. However, when he looks at Connor, he can tell the boy is struggling, and he wouldn't dare leave him.

"Then.. At least call her from someone Else's phone?" Zoe pleads. "I'm asking you because she's torn up about this. Dad's in total denial but.. I saw mom crying looking at a picture of you and Dad when you were like.. five." She gulps and Connor looks down.

"Yeah, okay I'll talk to her." Connor confirms, hands shaking slightly.

She soon leaves and Connor bites his lip, almost to were it's bleeding.

"I uh.. I need to borrow your phone.."

* * *

 

"I'll be waiting right here when you're done talking," Evan assures his boyfriend one more time, kissing him chastely. Connor sighs and opens the door, he walks inside and Evan can here a hesitant "Hey Dad,"

Evan waits for about half an hour, and he can't hear any yelling so he's slightly optimistic. When Connor walks out, his eyes are slightly red and his lips are twitched upwards. The two walk to the car before Evan asks what happened.

"He.. He said he's not adjusted to the idea of me being gay but.. He says he's never seen me this happy so he's gonna try. I think mom put him up to that but.. I don't care," Evan grinned and grabbed Connor's face with both of his hands to kiss him.

They both laughed in euphoria and Connor sighed in relief.

"I'm so proud of you Connor," Evan said with a grin, taking Connor's hand in his and thanks some higher spirit that Larry came to his senses.

The two drove back to Evan's house for one more night together before Connor was going back home to spend time with his family.

Evan suggests they lay outside and watch the stars, so they do, hands joined and eyes cast up to the dark painted sky above them.

They may both be healing from being broken, and they may not be able to fix each other immediately, but they can definitely help each other along the way.

When two broken people fall in love, they become one anothers band aid.

**Author's Note:**

> leave a comment if you liked it? thank you xx


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